Feeling Yappy and Sappy

Female Characters Who Have Shaped Who I Am Today

I, like many women, am truly an amalgamation of every girl I’ve ever thought was cool. Today I want to take a moment to honor those – both real and imaginary – who have made me the person I am today.

The March Sisters

I feel it’s only right to start with the first literary character I ever saw myself in. I started reading from a young age, but the book I often credit for my love of reading is Little Women. That was the first time I really connected with a book and related to a character in a way that made me feel truly seen. No, not Jo, Beth. Nearly every person I’ve talked to about this book has told me that they relate to Jo or Amy, but I’ve rarely heard Meg and never heard Beth. I’ve seen myself in every March sister at different points in my life, but upon reflection, I can see why I gravitated toward Beth in those early years (minus the dying halfway through the book part ofc).

First, and most obviously, our names. We’re both Elizabeths, and I’ve felt a bit of kinship with every other Elizabeth I’ve met in my life. Secondly, we’re both the third of four children. (I was so close to having only sisters. Thanks a lot, David!!!) But the main reason I related to Beth was that she was shy, quiet, and often invisible. One of my favorite quotes from the book is about her.

“There are many Beths in the world, shy and quiet, sitting in corners till needed, and living for others so cheerfully, that no one sees the sacrifices till the little cricket on the hearth stops chirping, and the sweet, sunshiny presence vanishes, leaving silence and shadow behind.”

I have often felt like a side character in my own life, often giving into the wants and needs of those around me who were more forthcoming about their needs and desires. Is it any wonder I was attracted to the idea that people would finally see me after it was too late? I loved the drama!

Since that first read, I’ve gone back several times (and likely will again) getting more out of the book each time. Upon subsequent rereads, I see myself more in Jo (a writer, duh) who does what she feels she has to do to make her loved ones happy. I see myself in Amy, a dreamer and a creative, who just wants to feel pretty and wealthy. And even in Meg, who yearns for the simple things in life – a beautiful home and a loving family. But I’ll always have a soft spot for Beth, whose time is cut short before she can really fly, but remains forever the beating heart of the March family.

Every Character Mary-Kate and Ashley Have Ever Played

God I wanted to be them so bad. Didn’t we all? The outfits, the hair, the locales, the boys??? They were the definition of aspirational in the early 2000s.

Some of my favorite MK&A moments:

• Sorry to my brother, whom I love very much, but as a child, Brother for Sale deeply resonated.

• In Passport to Paris, Mel (Mary-Kate) says, “Face it, we don’t have a grandfather. We have an ambassador.” Iconic. I started all of my sentences with “face it” for months afterward, much to the chagrin of my own sister (not twin, unfortunately).

• Everything about Billboard Dad. BTW, did you know that Pretty Little Liars’ Troian Bellisario is in that movie?

• The “cute fruit” scene in So Little Time. I think about it weekly, at least.

• The Simple Plan concert scene in New York Minute. Never have I ever felt such jealousy.

• Every single shopping montage. No one has ever done one better!

When are we getting all of their movies available on streaming? I’ll do anything.

Liz Lemon

Has anyone anywhere ever been more relatable than Tina Fey’s character in 30 Rock? Once again, we have the name thing in common, but my love for Liz Lemon goes so much deeper. When she’s alone in her apartment in a Snuggie® singing “working on my night cheese”, she is all of us. Liz Lemon is the perfect demonstration that as women, we can be so smart and capable (if a little clumsy and gross), and still struggle to prove ourselves at our jobs and find the love we deserve. We’re always going to have to deal with men who are objectively worse in nearly every way who somehow make more money and are less stressed. Such is life for a working woman, I guess.

Carmen Lowell

I love a good female foursome (SATC, Golden Girls, Desperate Housewives, etc.), and The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants was my favorite book series in high school. I wanted to be a Lena more than anything, but I was self aware enough even then to admit that I was really more of a Carmen.

I love how she introduces herself (in the movie, not the book) after she introduces the other three with, “and me, Carmen, the writer.” (I just paid Apple $3.99 to rent this movie just to verify that quote because I couldn’t find it online btw. No one ever tell me I’m not dedicated to my craft!) Everyone else seemed to have a strong descriptor. Lena, the beauty, Bridget, the athlete, and Tibby, the rebel, but Carmen seemed like she was still figuring out who she was. She wasn’t necessarily saying that she was “a writer,” merely that she’s the one writing the story down. I loved that. And more importantly, I related to it.

Of course it’s not uncommon for a teenage girl to still be finding herself, but I very much felt lost and behind when I was a freshman in high school reading those books. Carmen made me feel seen. When she throws the rock through her father’s window so that he’ll finally see her? Chills! I could only dream of being that brave.

Just like with Little Women, as the series progressed, I saw myself in all four girls. I was Lena getting her heart broken, I was Bridget making a reckless mistake, I was Tibby putting up walls to keep her safe from emotional pain. God, this is such a good series! I need to reread it immediately.

Side note: were we really supposed to believe that Carmen was fat in this movie??? The early 2000s were a dark time indeed.

The Women in My Family

I am lucky enough to come from a small, tightly knit family of mostly women. Though our personalities are all very different, if I had to pick a common theme, I think it would be strength. Whether in personality, conviction, or mental fortitude, I think every woman in my family is strong in at least one way, and they inspire me every day.

On the days when I’m feeling worst about myself (hello, luteal phase), I have to look no further than my female family members for reassurance. Sure I may be unhappy with how my body looks, but I look just like my mother, and she is beautiful to me. I may be feeling a barrage of emotions that feel all consuming, but I can look at my sister and admire her capacity to feel deeply and how it makes her who she is. I look to my grandmother for creative inspiration when I’m doubting my own abilities. My aunt is who I’ve always wanted to be when I grew up, having created a life for herself that’s secure and peaceful. And who would any of us be without my great grandmother, who was the matriarch of us all?

I got 21 years with her before she passed, and I’m so grateful to have had so much time. I remember afternoons spent at her apartment looking through old family pictures, snacking on Sunbelt granola bars and granny smith apples. I remember the Christmas she won us all the worst gifts ever at the assisted living bingo game, presented with such joy that we couldn’t help but just smile and say thank you. I remember her calling our house several times a day, just to check in. Her falling asleep in the rocking chair or absentmindedly rocking all the way across the living room. Writing me letters while I was working at camp. Always having her nails painted and her blush on, even at 98 years old. What I wouldn’t give to get to meet her at my age now, to chat over a cup of coffee, and get to tell her everything she’s missed. Because of our generation gap, it can be difficult for me sometimes to see myself in her like I can with the rest of them, but then I remember that she too was a writer.

And you may be wondering, wait I thought you said “characters” who inspired you? I assure you, everyone in my family is, in fact, a “character,” thank you very much.

What I’m Reading:

1. Almond by Sohn Won-Pyung: translated from the original Korean, this is a story about a boy who has underdeveloped amygdalae, and therefore can’t feel any feelings. It was a quick, impactful read and I highly recommend.

2. Stoner by John Williams: a poor farmer goes away to university and falls in love with English literature, changing the trajectory of his life. I just started this one, but I can already tell this is going to be one that sticks with me.

Conversation Starter:

Who is the least famous “famous” person you’ve met? Mine is probably minor internet celebrities Tyler Oakley and Korey Kuhl, but I did see Elena (from Billy on the Street fame) once in NYC.